Trinity Mount Ministries

Monday, October 10, 2011

How to Avoid an Abusive Relationship:

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

An abusive relationship, even if you survive it, will always leave some mental or physical scars. Not to mention financial damages or trust issues. This is too be avoided at all costs.


  1. Identify it early on and nip it in the bud. Just leave, don’t give the potential abuser a chance to sink his teeth too deep into you. Just move on.
    • At the beginning they are always charming and full of attention.
  2. Watch out for signs of early domination.
    • Does he let you down and never apologise? Does he keep you waiting for an hour or more but refuse to tolerate a ten minutes delay from you?
    • Does he sometimes call you names and laugh it off? Does he criticise your weight, looks, age, anything that makes you feel low?
  3. Understand that he can be violent without actually hitting you. Verbal violence is nearly as brutal and deameaning.
    • Does he try to isolate you from your friends and family?
    • Does he constantly bitch about your friends, wishing you would spend more time with him and less time with your family and friends?
    • Is your cooking never as good as his mother's or his ex?
    • Does he want to make you do stuff in bed against your will (threesome, anal, etc) making you fear he will leave you if you don’t?
    • Do you come out of a date with him feeling drained and jumpy?
    • Does the mention of his name make you nervous?
    • Does he make you feel guilty when you show signs of not taking his crap anymore?
    • Does he text you aggressively and continually when you are away?
    • Does he alternate threats with loving words?
    • Are you feeling confused about your connection?
  4. If you can answer yes to half those questions you are in the early stages of an abusive relationship. There is only one thing to do: cut all contacts from one day to the other.
  5. When you decide to leave, don’t tell him, just go.
  6. Call him or write him a letter explaining exactly why you are leaving him.
  7. Refuse to ever talk to him again.
  8. Do not answer his emails/ texts/ calls.
  9. Ignore him when you see him in the street.
  10. Even if he stalks you, he will move on some day to pester someone else.
  11. Never, ever sleep with him again. You would be losing control.
  12. Don’t jump into another relationship for a while. Take time to rebuild all the you that he has destroyed.


  • Remember that it is much better to be on your own than with the wrong partner and in the wrong relationship.
  • Learn your lesson and keep spotting early signs of domination and abuse in your next relationship.
  • Never tell your next man about what has happened, somehow most men give themselves permission to abuse what they consider "damaged goods".

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