Trinity Mount Ministries

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Parent Learning Club - 7 Effective Alternatives to Punishment" series: (Excerpt)

Parent Learning Club

Be mindful, small children do not have a lot of information.
They are brand new
and just starting out in the world.
It's your job as the loving parent to provide them with
the information they need, appropriate to their age level.

Going back to the one-year old milk-spiller...
if this was your child, trying to explain the concept of gravity to them
is useless -They won't understand what you're talking about, and they are so young that they can't remember not to do it again based on the explanation.

A preferred course of action would be
to set them up in the bathtub, sink, or outside
with a bowl filled with water. So they can
explore the joys of liquid and gravity in an
environment where they have more freedom
to make a mess in their exploration.

This takes us back to PREVENTION - the First Effective
Alternative to Punishment that we introduced to you last week.

If you're inspired, you can provide your young one with simple

information from the start. If your baby pours milk on the floor you
can say something along the lines of:

"Oh, it looks like that's interesting for you...
How about I set this up in the sink, as I don't
want to clean up the mess of spilt milk again."

Then you can give your child a nice bath with a plastic cup for them to
play with dumping water out in the tub, instead of making a mess that
just gives you more work to do.

So, if you're tempted to punish your child, stop yourself
and first evaluate the situation...

Second be empathetic, put yourself in your child's shoes
and figure out what the real reason for your child's misbehavior is.

Thirdly, if your child is quite young, keep in mind that everything is new to your little one.
Remember that your child is just a child,
even though at times it feels like they are manipulative know-it-all's,
they are in fact very young and innocent to the world, and they will
model your example because what they want more than anything is your love and attention.

Try this the next time your child does something that upsets you...

Stop and don't do anything at all.

Don't say anything.
Don't move.
Just be there for a moment...
...and evaluate.
Ask yourself if you really think your child is trying to hurt or upset you.
Then from a place of clarity, consciously choose not to punish.

Practice this as much as you can over the course of the week.

Evaluating and empathizing instead of punishing.

If you feel that it's difficult, that's okay, it's part of the process.
NEXT - In 7 Days you'll receive 'Part 3' of
the "7 Effective Alternatives to Punishment" series.

Next week you'll learn...

* How asking one simple question can
dramatically increase your child's cooperation.
* One critical mistake most parents make
in trying to stop naughty behavior.
* The truth about toddlers and what you can expect
from your child's age group. (This is critical, as
different ages need to be treated accordingly.)
* How what you say is JUST as important as
how you say it, if you want your little one to listen. 

Parent Learning Club

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