Trinity Mount Ministries

Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts

Sunday, April 18, 2021

Asian American Parents Discuss Bullying, Racism With Their Kids

The Senate will vote on a bill addressing hate crimes against Asian Americans on Wednesday amid a surge in AAPI hate crimes. The bill comes as many Asian American parents are now discussing with their kids about the bullying, racism, and violence that they may encounter.

As a father to two young boys, New Jersey Democratic Congressman Andy Kim finds himself reflecting on the first time he was targeted for being Korean American. He said he was about six years old when a group of older kids mocked his appearance.

"Saying things like, 'How can I see through these slanty eyes' and, oh, 'He's Chinese or Japanese, oh, it doesn't matter.' It's honestly one of the earliest memories that I can remember at all in my life," Kim told CBS News' Elaine Quijano.

"He said a bigger kid kept telling him, 'Call him China Boy, Chinese boy' over and over again. And my son just kind of laughed it off and was just like, 'I kept telling him, I'm a New Jersey boy.' And it was so sweet that he said that and I could tell it bothered him," Kim said.

He said that he told his son "that he did the right thing" but struggled to find words to comfort him.

"But at that point, I was really floundering and I really struggled to figure out the right words to say... what should I do in preparing myself to have this conversation with my kid?" Kim said.

Those tough conversations about race are something developmental psychologist Tiffany Yip believes parents of all backgrounds should start early.

"I think it's really important for us to think about how we could teach our kids to speak up for their peers. I think if we can empower our children to speak up more for each other, they'll also learn to speak up for themselves better," Yip said.

It's an approach Jane Park is using in Seattle with her two children. Park's conversation came in the wake of the Georgia shootings that killed eight people, including six women of Asian descent. Her video that showed Park talking to her seven-year-old son Bennett about the issue went viral and has been viewed over two million times.

"I was saddened because he's so young. It's just the reality that so many AAPI families are facing is that this is no longer a conversation that we can kind of table for a later time," Park said.

Park said she wants to prepare her children to respond to all hate, no matter who the target.

CBS correspondent Elaine Quijano asked Bennett, "If you were on the playground and you saw somebody else, and they were being bullied just because of how they look, what would you do?" she asked.

"I would say that's not right, and you should be better," Bennett said.

Congressman Kim is going through his own personal reckoning. He's just now learning about years of discrimination his parents endured quietly as immigrants.

"The question for us and our generation is, 'Are we going to accept that there's just a certain baseline of foreignness and xenophobia and discrimination that we just have to accept?' And I say no, this is a moment where many of us feel empowered to say that 'This is just not right and yes... we belong,'" he said.

Psychologists report that children are able to understand the concept of race as young as age three, and that's why parents should start these conversations early, so children aren't left to try to make sense of things on their own.

Yip recommends that one place to start is parents expressing to their children how bias makes them feel, which can then open the door for kids to voice their own feelings.



Sunday, April 26, 2020

Thorn - Keeping your kids safe online in the age of COVID: Usable tips for parents - PARENTING PREVENTION


By James, Thorn Staff 

As a parent, I’m concerned.

Not only am I worried about my family’s health in the midst of a once-in-a-century pandemic, but I’m figuring out how to run a school out of my dining room, learning how to work with my spouse a few feet away from me at all times, and my cat needs ear drops twice a day.

Since I work at Thorn, I’m also acutely aware of the fact that children are spending way more time online—at least 50% more time on screens for ages 6-12—and now I’m hearing about Zoombombing, where nefarious users hack into Zoom sessions, including elementary school lessons, to share abusive content. I’m not used to hearing about child safety from the news — I usually hear it from my team first. But these days, we’re all in this together.

I know I need to have some really important and difficult conversations with my child about staying safe online right now. Parenting a child with both special needs and a proclivity for technology, I’m constantly striving to balance keeping their digital experience safe while adjusting to a sudden increase in our reliance on technology as a family.

I recognize that I sit in a privileged position in the grand scheme of things, being able to continue working remotely on a mission that I care deeply about. But regardless of where we are in the world or what our daily lives look like right now, parents the world over are facing the same dilemma as me: how do I keep my child safe online — not only right now, but in a future that is based in technology?

My colleagues at Thorn, and our partners in the child-safety community, have been developing and sharing resources that make both my day-to-day parental duties and those tough conversations a little less intimidating.

My hope is that these tips are approachable, pragmatic, and helpful, and in no way act as a source of stress for caregivers that already have a lot to balance.

Here’s how to start thinking about, talking about, and addressing online child safety with your kids in the age of COVID-19:

Ask your kids to teach you about their favorite apps

Cropped image of father and son in casual clothes using smartphones and smiling while sitting on couch at homeAdobe//georgerudy
For children that have their own devices, this is the perfect time to ask about the apps and games they use the most. But don’t stop there: take it a step further and let your kids actually show you how to download and use their favorite apps and games.

By letting your child become the teacher, it gives you a chance to hear directly from them how, when, and why they use these apps. You are invited into their world and see it through their eyes. And most importantly, you’ll see how the games work, where it’s easy to meet new people, which behaviors are risky and which aren’t, so you can help your child navigate their digital world.

This is critical information that takes guesswork out of the equation and also reveals where safety issues might arise. Now when you have conversations with your kids about online safety, you’ll be able to speak their language.

Participate in online trends with your kids
You’ve heard of TikTok, but have you completed the latest viral challenge?

Ask your kids about the viral challenges they’re seeing on TikTok and which one you can do together. That might mean acting a bit silly or feeling a little awkward at first, but it’s both great bonding time and an opportunity to learn more about the platform.

Again, let your kids lead the way here. It’s a chance for them to teach you something, which they don’t often get to do, and a fun way to spend time together while still allowing the kids to interact with technology.

Talk to your kids about sharing content

Times have changed, and just as many adults share suggestive pictures with their partners, sexting is also more common among youth. One recent survey found that as many as 40% of kids are exposed to a sext by the age of 14.
That means content sharing of nude or partially nude images isn’t just an issue that applies to teenagers, but something any child interacting with a device should be aware of.
As a parent, I know just how uncomfortable and awkward this conversation can be. Thankfully, StopSextortion.com has some excellent resources for caregivers on how to start the conversation. There’s also important information on what to do if your child has had an image of themself shared beyond the intended recipient without their consent, and the next steps to take.
Check out the Stop Sextortion site for more ideas to explain the risks of self-generated content.

Know the words “sextortion” and “grooming”


We’ll go into these in more depth in future posts, but sextortion and grooming are two important risks for you to know when keeping kids safe online.
Grooming refers to the tactics used by online predators to convince or coerce children into making and sharing sexually exploitative content. Grooming can take a variety of forms, but hinges on creating trust and leveraging vulnerabilities.
Sextortion refers to the coercion that can happen after that content is produced. For example, through grooming a child may be convinced to share a nude, partially nude, or sexually suggestive image of themself, which predators then use as leverage to coerce a child into further sexual exploitation. This could take the form of a predator pretending to be a child’s peer through text chat, gaining their trust and coercing them to share an image. Once that one image is shared, predators use it as leverage to coerce them into sharing more.
One easy way to get the conversation started? Tell younger kids that if they ever receive a message or interaction from someone they don’t know on any platform, from video games to social media or texts, to never respond and come straight to you.
We’re looking forward to diving into these topics and sharing directly from our team of experts over the coming months. Subscribe to our emails below and follow us on social media to be the first to see our future deep dives on these topics.

Become your kids’ safety net

kids in front of ipadAdobe// ulza
For older children in particular, but young ones as well, make sure they know you’re a safe person to come to, even if the thought of them sharing content makes you feel afraid or frustrated.
I think of how my parents always told us that if we were ever in a situation where people were drinking and we needed a ride home, to call them and they would pick us up no questions asked. This message was coupled with frank conversations about the risks of drinking, and about my parents expectations that I not be drinking, but I felt safe enough to ask for help when I needed it. I trusted that I had a safety net.
Make sure your kids know you’re a safety net. And also make sure they’re aware of resources like the Crisis Text Line, where kids can go if they don’t feel comfortable approaching adults.

Make sure classroom video meetings (and peer video chats) are secure

Schools are doing an exceptional job pivoting to remote learning, but with so much going on it can be easy to miss some key steps in keeping everything secure. And some companies have been caught off guard by the massive increase in users which have in turn exposed security flaws.
You can help by keeping an eye out for some basic security practices:
  • Ensure video chats are always private, and when possible, password protected.
  • Don’t share meeting links outside of private messages (like emails or texts).
  • Designate someone to be the meeting supervisor, who will manage participants and watch for uninvited guests. For most conferencing apps this will default to whoever set up the meeting.
  • Ensure everyone has installed the most up-to-date version of the app. Zoom, for example, has recently been adding new security features every few days.
Make sure schools and your kids are using these basic security protocols for video chats—and talk to them if you find they aren’t. We’re all in this together, and shared knowledge can make the whole community safer.

Report abuse content and sextortion—and never share it

No matter where, when, or how it happens, if you or your kids come across CSAM, report it. If you’re not sure what constitutes CSAM, it is legally defined as any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (a person less than 18 years old). This can include images, video, audio, and any other content type.
You should report it to whichever platform you find it on, and be sure to also report it to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). NCMEC is the clearinghouse for all reports of CSAM, but they also field reports from online platforms. Cover all your bases in this case.
And remember: never share abuse content, even if you’re trying to report it. It’s actually illegal, no matter your intentions, and can keep the cycle of abuse going.

Use existing resources

  • NCMEC’s Netsmartz cartoon is a great way for young children to learn about staying safe online while also being entertained.
  • The Zero Abuse Project has compiled 25 tips for responding to child abuse during a pandemic.
  • Child Rescue Coalition has some additional tips for keeping Zoom meetings safe.
  • The Global Partnership to End Violence Against Children has compiled useful, evidence-based resources for positive parenting during a pandemic.
  • Common Sense Media can help to provide guidance for parents on apps, games, and websites.
  • The Family Online Safety Institute has developed resources for digital parenting.
  • And if anxiety is high and you or your kids just need to talk to someone, you can contact the Crisis Text Line 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. As a remote organization, they are well equipped to connect you or your kids to resources, whether they need help with a potentially abusive situation or just feel anxiety due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Start the conversation wherever you’re most comfortable – but start it

Portrait of family taking a selfie together with mobile phone at home. Family and lifestyle concept.Adobe//Mego-studio
Online safety is an ongoing conversation that will likely change and grow as quickly as your kids. It’s not always easy to broach these topics, but starting wherever you are most comfortable and taking it in steps can help.
These conversations can happen more organically if you’re spending time with them on the apps they use and showing interest in learning about the virtual world in which all of our children are growing up.
Importantly, one instance in which you should react immediately is if you discover CSAM content or find that your child’s images have been shared without their consent. Reporting content as quickly as possible can help mitigate long-term harm. For more info on getting content removed, check out NCMEC’s guide.

The new normal

Parenting is really different today than it was a few months ago, and it’s going to be that way for a significant amount of time. We’re not always going to have all the answers, and just being here and learning more is a great first step.
We’re all in this together, and together we will be able to best defend our children from online sexual abuse. You are not only a part of a global ecosystem of parents and caregivers, but a community of people dedicated to eliminating child sexual abuse from the internet, which Thorn and our partners work toward every single day.
No matter what you’re doing, or how you’re doing it, thank you for being a defender of happiness and being willing to learn more.


Sunday, February 23, 2020

Child Safety: Keeping Your Home Safe for Your Baby










If you have a baby in your house, you need to make sure he or she stays safe. Children don’t understand danger. And as they grow, babies become curious. Because of these things, you may need to change some things in your house to make sure he or she doesn’t get hurt.

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Go into each room in your house and look for dangers to your child. Here’s a list of some items that may need your attention.

In the bedroom

Remove any cords that could get around your baby’s neck. Tie up electric cords, drape cords, or curtain cords so they are less than 6 inches long and out of your child’s reach. Mobiles and hanging crib toys should also be kept out of your baby’s reach. Remove strings on crib toys and pacifiers.
The crib is the main piece of furniture in the bedroom. Choose a crib with bars no more than 2 3/8 inches apart. If the space between the bars is too wide, your baby could slip through and strangle between the bars. Use a ruler to check the width of the space between the bars. Weave a cloth between the bars if they are too far apart.
When setting up the crib, place it away from all items with cords.
The crib should not have corner posts that stick up. Corner posts are an area of the crib that can catch on items that may be wrapped around a child’s neck or catch on clothing worn by the child. Unscrew the corner posts or saw them off.
The mattress should fit snugly against the sides of the crib. An infant can suffocate if its head or body becomes wedged between the mattress and the sides of the crib. No more than 2 fingers should fit between the mattress and the side of the crib. Place rolled towels between the mattress and the crib if the mattress is too small.
When your baby can push up, you should remove bumpers, pillows, and toys from the crib, including toys that are strung across the crib or a playpen. Your baby can step on these things or use them to climb out of the crib and fall.
Note: In 2011, a new U.S. crib safety standard did away with the option of having one side of the crib drop down, because this drop-side “feature” was responsible for infant deaths. If you buy a new crib, this will not be an issue, but a crib manufactured before 2012 may have the drop-side “feature” risk built in. You can defeat the risk in an older crib if you can use screws that permanently attach the drop side into the end posts (or otherwise modify the crib) in a way that the drop-side can no longer drop down.

Toys

  • Choose carefully when shopping for toys. Look for toys that are well made and appropriate for your child’s age.
  • Watch out for toys that have sharp edges, small parts, or sharp points.
  • Young children pull, prod, and twist toys. Look for toys with tightly secured parts.
  • Look for safety information on the toy or label such as “Not recommended for children under 3 years of age,” or “non-toxic” on toys likely to end up in a child’s mouth. Look for “washable/hygienic materials” on stuffed toys and dolls.
  • Avoid marbles, balls, games with balls, and other toys that have parts smaller than 1 3/4 inches in diameter or smaller than 2 inches long. These products can choke young children if swallowed.
  • Keep toys meant for older children away from babies and toddlers.

In the bathroom

Since children can drown in very little water, you should always stay with your child when he or she is in the bathtub. NEVER leave your child alone or with an older child in the bathroom or tub – not even for a minute. If you have to answer the phone or door, take your child with you.
Always test the water before putting your child in the tub. Young children have tender skin and are easily burned if the water in the sink or bathtub is too hot. Set your water heater to 120°F or less. To check the temperature of the hot water from the faucet, run the water over a meat or candy thermometer for 3 minutes.
Add non-skid rubber mats or decals to the bottom of your bathtub to reduce the risk of your child slipping while in the tub. Make sure your child sits during a bath. Encourage this by giving him or her water-safe toys to play with.
Add a lock to the lid of your toilet to prevent drowning.
Keep electrical items such as hair dryers away from the water. Unplug them when you aren’t using them. They can cause an electric shock if they fall into the sink or bathtub while they’re plugged in.
Encourage your child to never run in the bathroom. Your child or the floor can be wet. Running on a wet surface may make your child fall.

In the kitchen

  • Turn pot handles toward the back of the stove.
  • Use the back burners on the stove for cooking.
  • Keep hot foods and drinks out of reach and away from the edge of a counter or table.
  • Keep knives and other sharp objects out of reach or in locked or “childproof” drawers or cabinets.
  • Wind up appliance cords and keep them out of reach.
  • Put latches on cabinet drawers to keep your child from opening and closing them. This will help prevent your child from smashing his or her fingers between the drawer and cabinet when closing it.

Throughout the house

Keep medicines, vitamins, cleaning supplies, and other poisons in locked cabinets. Children can’t tell the difference between medicine and candy.
If your child swallows something he or she shouldn’t, call a poison control center right away. Keep the telephone number by your phone. The national poison control hotline number is 1-800-222-1222.
Houseplants should be placed out of your child’s reach. Some houseplants are poisonous. Call your local poison control center to find out if your plants are poisonous.
Use toddler gates at the top and bottom of stairs. Do not use gates with big spaces between the slats – children can get trapped in the openings.
Place door knob covers on doors that lead to the garage, basement, attic, or outdoors. This will help prevent your child from going where he or she shouldn’t go.
Keep children away from windows to prevent falls. Screens are made to keep bugs out – not to keep children in. Use window guards to keep children from falling. Keep chairs and other furniture away from windows so children can’t climb up. If possible, open windows from the top, not the bottom.
Anchor furniture to walls. This will prevent it from tipping over if your child climbs on it. All large furniture, such as bookcases, dressers, and TVs not mounted on the wall, should be anchored. Visit your local hardware store for safety-strap kits. If you purchase new furniture that comes with safety straps, install them right away.
Other helpful tips:
  • Use plastic inserts to cover electric outlet openings that are not being used.
  • Keep guns and other firearms out of the house. If guns are in the house, unload them, put them in a locked place, and keep the keys out of your child’s reach. Store the gun in a separate place from the bullets.
  • When your baby is placed on anything above the ground, like a changing table, always stand close with your hand on your baby.

Things to consider

  • Don’t keep toys on the upper shelf of a bookcase or on top of a tall dresser. Your child may climb the furniture to get the item and fall.
  • Don’t use a tablecloth on your table. Your child may pull on the cloth and fall. Also, items from the table then may fall onto your child.
  • Keep alcohol and cigarettes out of reach.
  • Keep plastic bags and deflated or burst balloons away from young children.
  • Lock matches and lighters in a cabinet that is higher than your shoulders.

Questions for your doctor

  • Why do babies put things in their mouths?
  • Where can I take an infant CPR class?
  • How can I keep my baby safe when outdoors?
  • How can I keep my baby safe in the car?

Citations

Adapted with permission from a booklet produced by the Injury Subcommittee of the National Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition.

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Child sex traffickers lured boy to filthy trailer to serve as sex slave promising video games, puppy



ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Accused child sex traffickers lured two teen boys to St. Petersburg using video games, online apps and even the promise of a puppy, the I-Team uncovered in new details of the
last year after the state’s top prosecutor revealed the victim “was moved into a filthy trailer and used as a sex slave for nearly a year.”
Police said the men used video games and online apps, including Omegle, Roblox and Discord to find and communicate with their victims.


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A 2016 study funded by the U.S. Department of Justice estimates 36 percent of child sex trafficking victims are boys.
Neighbors at the mobile home park told the I-Team they met and saw the first victim, a 16-year-old Marion County boy, with his accused traffickers but never suspected he “was forced to serve as their own personal sex slave” — the accusations in a probable cause affidavit obtained by the I-Team.
The boy first met accused traffickers Mark Dennis and Andrew Clements at their April 2017 wedding. Police say he was brought to the wedding by a family friend, Eleanor McGlamory, who is also charged with conspiracy in the case.
Court records show Dennis and Clements immediately started texting the boy using Discord, a free video and texting app, and picked him up at his home 140 miles away just three weeks later.
Police say the men disabled the boy’s cell phone, so he couldn’t be tracked and then gave him a new name, birth date and back story.
Mark Dennis, Andrew Clements, Curtis Gruwell and Michael Schwartz all lived in the trailer with the boy at Silver Lake Mobile Home Park. Two other men, Michael Blasdel and J.R. Gauthier, regularly visited the trailer, according to police reports.
All six men currently face charges of conspiracy to commit human trafficking, among other charges.
Investigators said Dennis, Clements, Blasdel and Gauthier repeatedly raped the boy for nearly a year.
But neighbors at the trailer park told the I-Team they didn’t suspect anything unusual was going on inside the trailer until police announced the charges in early 2019.

Nobody reported seeing anything

The trailer was just feet away from the mobile home park’s garbage containers where residents of the 600-unit complex dump their trash.
“As many times as I went to the garbage can — cause they live across from the garbage can — I never heard anything, never seen anything out of order,” said neighbor Allene Dixon. “They would ride by in the golf cart and wave.”
Neighbor Mary Homerding told
she didn’t suspect anything was amiss when she saw the first victim.
“The kid was polite. He seemed happy,” said Homerding, who told the I-Team she saw the first victim only once, riding in a golf cart with Clements. “He introduced him as his adopted son and the boy agreed.”


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When she didn’t see the boy again, Homerding said she figured the adoption didn’t work out.
Homerding said neighbors didn’t suspect the men because they were well liked in the community.
“They put on a good front,” said Homerding. “They were always polite. They joked around.”
Groover-Skipper said it’s not uncommon that neighbors didn’t noticed a child sex trafficking victim was living in their midst.
“People are so busy that they go about their life and they don’t always look at clues or look at signs that something could be wrong,” said Groover-Skipper. “It’s so under the radar most of the time that the majority of the world has no clue that this type of thing is going on.”
Abigale Ackerman said she met the first victim when the men brought the boy to a Pasco County pagan festival in early 2018.
“I asked him if there was anything going on. It seemed like he was really depressed,” said Ackerman.
She told the I-Team Dennis offered to pay her $2,000 to make the boy a fantasy costume, but the deal never happened.
“They wanted me to make him a blue and white husky suit for his birthday,” said Ackerman, who revealed the men also showered the boy with other gifts. “(They gave him) expensive things like game consoles, a full blooded husky puppy that they bought him.”
The police reported finding that husky in the trailer after the boys were rescued.
Groover-Skipper said the gifts are all part of the grooming process traffickers use on victims.
“Even though there may not be physical chains around a victim, around a person, they have mental and emotional chains around a person,” said Groover-Skipper.

Whips, masks and text messages

Police also reported finding whips, leather masks and bondage tools inside the trailer.
According to police reports, Mark Dennis called himself “Grand Master” and referred to the other men and the boy as his “pups” during bondage rituals. The entire group referred themselves as the boy’s “family circle,” police said.
Groover-Skipper said traffickers know how to prey on victims’ deep-rooted need to belong and be part of a family.
But police recovered text messages showing the boy was unhappy
“I’m stressed to high hell,” the boy texted nearly a year into captivity. “I don’t want sex all the time.”
One of his abusers replied, “Which is such a shame when such a tight group of people who love you have come into your life.”
In 2018, police reported the men met a new victim online — a 17-year-old Louisiana boy they convinced to come live with them.
Eleanor McGlamory and Curtis Gruwell drove about 10 hours to pick the boy up in the woods near his rural Louisiana home in the dead of night, court records show.
Three days later, Louisiana police found the boy's online messages and alerted St. Petersburg Police, who found the missing Louisiana boy and the Marion County boy and rescued them from the trailer.
All seven suspects are currently behind bars awaiting trial, which is set for early May.
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The Florida Attorney General's Office says Blasdel, Gruwell and Gauthier have entered plea agreements and have agreed to testify at the trial.
The Florida Department of Children and Families says it's important to manage your child's use of multimedia by setting ground rules, explaining safety rules, keeping the computer in a common room and monitoring online activity.
For information on the agency's resources, visit
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has age appropriate information for children and their parents to learn how to protect themselves online and avoid becoming a victim.
You can find information by visiting:
If you believe you are a victim of Human Trafficking or suspect an adult is a victim of human trafficking, please visit the
or call them at 1-888-3737-888. If you suspect a child is a victim, please call the
at 1-800-96-ABUSE